My Celebrity Flush

Life is a journey – “see the world, and broaden your horizon”.  Travel has given me experiences I couldn’t have even dreamt of!

First few times, you are really excited about the places and things to do. Staying at a plush hotel or resort excites you but then over a period of time, I noticed that a lot of places feel like every other place that I have already been to. There is a definite sense of familiarity to almost every place. Maybe that familiar feeling was just me. I don’t know; Or maybe it’s that many cities around the world aren’t really that different from one another and often have the same shops, buildings, streets etc.

This was my second trip to Brisbane and I was enjoying a quiet evening at the South Bank. Located on the southern banks of the Brisbane River, its 17 hectares of lush parklands, with speciality restaurants, stunning river views, making it the perfect place to relax and unwind.


Interestingly, a major attraction within the parkland is its man-made beach, which is 2,000 square metres of free-formed concrete surrounded by 4,000 cubic metres of sand. I could see kids playing in the sand in the middle of the concrete jungle, kick the sand off ..of course, that’s wot they are meant to do. Every year the beach is topped up with an additional 70 tonnes to ensure that it is kept in pristine condition. We would have called them “sand mafia”!!


A long walk at the promenade with friends and I was ready for an early dinner. Now, this is something I am yet to accept: having dinner before sunset. For me, dinner is at 9 and if it’s a special occasion, maybe a candle light dinner, at 8. We sat down at this high-end speciality restaurant, overlooking the river. The boat cruise parties were in full swing. Sitting there and admiring the fine craftsmanship, paddle-wheeler floating through the river, I wondered whether I made a mistake of not opting for a dinner with River Cruise.

Or, maybe not…The feeling of sitting on a porch of a riverside restaurant, under the stars, watching the boats come and go, in the backdrop of the magnificent city lights is mesmerising.


My wine is on the way and we ordered for some speciality Kangaroo meat..Gosh Did I really order that??? What if it doesn’t suit my palette? One thing about Aussie cuisine is that there are virtually no spices; of course, India is a long way from Brisbane. There are plenty of beaches around. But “The Daandi March” is yet to happen here maybe, so salt is sparse. And pepper, of course is the jewel of Kerala which is 9281 kms away !  No wonder the British colonised half the world for this lil wonder from my homeland. Next time, am gonna carry a few pouches of essential spices. Wish Dominos gave pepper packs instead of oreganos…would have been easier to pocket some.


One thing about Beer and Wine is that it makes even the mightiest of the “Control Freaks” realise they are one! How long do you engage in that perfect conversation with friends before one is forced to pause and take a detour for the that “pitstop”. How much more longerrrr. The precisely timed, millimetre perfect choreography of pit stop is vital to ensure that I win this conversation which is now almost on the verge of an argument. The 4% alcohol is about to flare and then it’s getting on to my nerves…okay , hang on !! lemme allow one or two of you who didn’t even get a chance to share your thoughts cos I was hammering you with my sapoi-sexual thoughts as I run in the direction the arrow says “Ladies”.

The art of meeting your needs within confines of the space providing a great deal of privacy is what I like about those 5 star rooms. The marble walls, chromed details and shiny elements. Those mirrors make me look prettier.The artificial lights makes my skin glow. And of course, helps practise that perfect pout! Should I touch up my make up now or maybe later? The obvious decision was to surrender to the call,  I sat down, for, well, you know, umm, but the whole “unit” looked a lil too sophisticated to me. A few panels to the right with lights blinking as if its a cockpit. Fortunately, there was an instruction chart! Imagine…

Carefully looked at the instructions, First one was to set bowl light, themes to match the mood.  Choose a soothing theme, Red or Blue or Green. “The quality of the light around us has a profound effect on our well-being ”. Next is to set the temperature of the seat. Warm seats are comfy. During a cold winter spell, a heated seat can be a boon. Lemme set the water temperature. There are three or four temperature settings going from off to low and then to medium and high. Do you really need that many ?

Alright, warm water cleansing is really refreshing, and a perfect alternative to tissue paper in the “hands-free” world. The water stream is too good to be true …Wot precision !! Is this the red wine working on me or technology at its best.

That’s not all, one could choose the type of wash, oh well  “feminine ”. How I wish these options were available when my child was younger. At the push of a button, he would have come out clean and dry. And saved me hours of agony and fights at home.


Had someone asked me earlier the difference between Oscillating & Pulsating, I would have had to refer my high school Physics textbook which defines “Oscillation” as the repetitive variation, typically in time, of some measure about a central value or between two or more different states. Sounds complicated ?? Well, in simple terms, “Oscillating” means the water stream moves back and forth. And “Pulsating”  means water stream alternates between soft and strong.

The jazz music in the background playing a perfect companion…donno how long I spent in there playing between the temperature and pressure and spray position with intuitive controls.

If you’ve ever watched some insane reality show about celebrity homes, you’ve probably had daydreams of what it would feel like to have so much money you could bedazzle your bathroom or install the next-gen high-end one. Well, I just lived out that fantasy — if only for one flush’s worth of time.

The only Clash of Titans I heard about was between the Tissue Paper and the Faucet. But this one seems to be the perfect match. Our world is increasingly becoming flatter. The east and the west are merging. What a better example than this!

Looking forward to the next lesson travel has in store for me.


Check out other adventure stories in Aussie land  Sail your way through the Heart Reef


One Comment Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s